


Revenge: The Second Step

by Background_Foxe



Series: Question of Leadership [4]
Category: The Lord of the Rings - All Media Types
Genre: M/M, Multi, Multiple Partners
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2002-02-04
Updated: 2002-02-04
Packaged: 2021-03-06 17:28:19
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 15,975
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26212672
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Background_Foxe/pseuds/Background_Foxe
Summary: By FoofyFourth in the Question of Leadership series. Aragorn and Boromir hit further differences, and Legolas gets borrowed to sort things out
Relationships: Aragorn | Estel/Boromir (Son of Denethor II), Aragorn | Estel/Boromir (Son of Denethor II)/Legolas Greenleaf
Series: Question of Leadership [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1903663
Kudos: 7
Collections: Least Expected





	Revenge: The Second Step

**Author's Note:**

> Note from Amy Fortuna, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [Least Expected](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Least_Expected), which has been offline since 2002. To preserve the archive, I began manually importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in August 2017. I e-mailed all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address on the [Least Expected collection profile](https://archiveofourown.org/collections/leastexpected/profile).
> 
> Summary: Fourth in the Question of Leadership series. Aragorn and Boromir hit further differences, and Legolas gets borrowed to sort things out Rating: NC17  
> Warnings: None  
> Disclaimers: I don't own them. Mind you, they also don't own me. Hurrah! Feedback: Always welcomed!  
> Authors Note: Dedicated to Mandy, who showed me the importance of principles

The missing clothes had been irriating, embarressing, and extremely cold. Prickly bushes poked areas that really should never be poked with any type of edge at all, and Aragorn had had to explain their way out of the whole mess to Merry and Pippin, who were understandably fasincated. However, there was no suitable time to get even. The quest was on; the Misty Mountains continued to grow in front of them, the tension increased, and the general conditions continued to deteriorate.

One of those areas that increased in irriatance was the wind. It was hard, cold and unyielding. It swept alongside and around the members of the Fellowship, chilling their bones, blood and any organs foolish enough to get in the way. It howled and gibbered like a raging monkey, and managed to go through even the toughest of their clothing. And the rain wasn't much better; icy constant thin sheets of rain, turning those parts that had escaped the onslaught of the wind to cold limbs. Weather sucked.

Then came the fire ban.

The hobbits stared at Aragorn in horror at this suggestion.

" But you can't!" squeaked a flabergasted Sam. " What's Mr Frodo going to do for hot food?"

" I'll cope," said Frodo hurriedly in the face of Aragorn's stare, the intensity of which could equal the wind and the rain put together.

The other members of the Fellowship were not pleased either.

" Seems a bit extreme," murmered Gandalf. A look was shot at him.

" But necessary," snapped Aragorn. Gandalf raised an eyebrow but decided to remain quiet on the issue. Merry and Pippin looked beseekingly at Boromir, who barely noticed. However, Aragorn did not miss the look.

" And don't think you can go behind my back about this one," he warned, giving a furious glare at Boromir.

" I haven't said anything!" Boromir protested, being totally innocent for once.

Aragorn gave a snort of dismissal, and turned away.

" No fire!" he repeated over his shoulder as he marched towards the trees, presumably to keep watch. Aragorn had been keeping watch a lot recently. In fact, Aragorn had been doing a lot recently, from scouting ahead to keeping watch to giving various "pep" talks to an increasingly disinterested audience.

Boromir was aware of everyone's eyes on him.

" Fine," he muttered. " I'll go talk to him,"

Boromir finally found Aragorn lurking around the edge of the valley that the ranger had chosen for their resting place. He was treated with an exasperated stare as he closed the distance between them.

" Didn't you hear what I said?" he snapped.

" You didn't give me a chance to speak," said Boromir with uncharacteristic patience. " I could have simply wished to spend time with you,"

Aragorn sighed. " I haven't got any time, Boromir," Givign a faint smile, he gently stroked Boromir's cheek before turning back to scan the surroundings.Boromir, who easily ignored the hint for dismissal remained where he was.

" You don't have to do this," he began when Aragorn rounded on him.

" Oh don't I!" he hissed. " Who else is there? We are travelling into more and more danger, Boromir. We were lucky before-" Boromir gave an obviously doubtful look to this statement. " - and just because we got out of it alive doesn't mean anything! We have to guard and protect! Pippin could have died!"

" But he didn't," Boromir's voice started to get an edge.

Aragorn glared at him. " I cannot rely on the hope that he will outrun any enemies we happen to come across!" he snapped. " They're not trained warriors. They need organisation!"

Aragorn stared back across the path angrily. There was a long pause. Finally Boromir sighed and settled himself down on a rock.

" I'll keep watch," he said. " You go and get some rest,"

" I don't need rest," said Aragorn sulkily.

Boromir said nothing.

" I don't!"

Boromir sighed. " You're getting tetchy,"

" I am not!!" Aragorn reviewed his last sentence, and started to sulk.

" You need some sleep," continued Boromir. This tact was getting him nowhere.

" And," he added. " You could organise the group while you're there."

Aragorn considered this possibility, and eyed Boromir thoughtfully.

" Would you be okay?" he asked doubtfully.

Boromir nodded gravelly. " I 'll be fine as long as theres nothing with a saucepan,"

* * *

Gandalf was becoming concerned about Aragorn. For a week he had watched as Aragorn, unused to having so many dependants relying on his judgement, got shorter and shorter in his patience and manner. His original assumption that Aragorn would get over it was was becoming dangerous to the group - Aragorn was getting far too stressed to sleep properly, and it had been several nights that the wizard had found him alone, having taken over the watch.

Just as well he's not sole leader, thought Gandalf. I'd better not fall down any pits.

Tonight had been no different. After the immensly unpopular fire ban, Aragorn had also insisted that the group sleep under some rather ungraceful and spiky bushes in case of "watchers from the sky." Who Aragorn had in mind was not entirely clear, as the overhang of the trees concealed them sufficiently to any dangers in the night sky. Unless the butterflies were attacking...

Aragorn had also relieved the current watch, who happened to be Boromir, and had disappeared off to another lonely night by himself. Gandalf eyed the Gondorian who had sat himself on a log slightly apart from the others, and casually wandered over.

With a sigh, Gandalf settled himself down beside Boromir and readjusted his robes. The sheer amount of material they put into robes was extraordinary, he mused, and gave a sideways glances at Boromir, who was despertaely trying to avoid eye contact.

Gandalf followed Boromir's gaze and realised it was towards Aragorn's solitary posting. The silence continued. Gandalf could hear a mini hobbit argument, kept to low voices to avoid Aragorn's anti-waffle wrath. Boromir kept his eyes trained to his chosen spot, a dog awaiting the return of its beloved master.

Gandalf, unused to small talk about such matters, mused over the problem.

" Its a good evening," he said finally. Boromir didn't move.

" Is it?" he grunted.

Gandalf hesitated. Actually, it wasn't. There was an icy wind still viciously attacking them, no fire, and he had just run out of the hobbit weed that morning. However, everyone knew that you had to discuss the weather during such conversations. It was the done thing.

" It's not raining," he offered.

Boromir gave a grunt of agreement at the fact that it was, indeed, not raining. Gandalf cast around for something else to say.

" Pippin's weasel experience seems to have left him quite shaken," he commented. Boromir said nothing.

Gandalf sighed inwardly, and decided to start becoming tactless. You didn't get to be a wizard for beating around the bush.

" And Aragorn appears to be under a lot of strain," Gandalf eyed the warrior for some reaction. Boromir hunched his shoulders.

" You should discuss that with him," he muttered.

" I'm discussing it with you," said Gandalf mildly.

"I don't want to discuss it,"

" Ah, but I do. And by saying that, you are discussing the matter. And we can't stop in the middle of a conversation now can we,"

Boromir thought about this.

" Surely," he said slowly. " we are but having a discussion on whether or not to have a discussion on the ... said matter .. and therefore have not actually started the discussion on the main topic,"

Gandalf stared at him in shock. Evidentally not all the Gondorian education had disappeared out one ear. Boromir noted the surprise and gave a wry smile.

" You learn to have pointless arguments when you have a younger brother," he commented.

Faramir's influence was swiftly pushed aside.

" We will have to discuss the main topic for the good of the Fellowship" said Gandalf. " And also for the fact I have a large clobbering staff and I'm not afraid to use it,"

Boromir sighed, and turned his gaze onto his boots. " I would be .. uncomferable with the conversation," he said softly.

Gandalf ignored him in the way that only wizards could get away with.

" Have you spoken to him about it?" he asked.

Boromir gave a hollow laugh. " With him on guard duty all the time?" he said.

" But have you?" Gandalf persisted.

" Yes," muttered Boromir.

" And what did he say?"

Boromir paused. " Well, he shouted a lot,"

" I see," Gandalf gazed off towards the distance again. " Would you try again?" he said finally.

" He won't talk to me," snapped Boromir. " He won't do .. anything with me anymore. It's always practise, or watching, or," Boromir waved a hand expressively. " .. Frodo needs protection or something. Get Frodo to say something. He'd have to listen to the Ring Bearer,"

" But surely-"

" No,"

Gandalf raised an eyebrow. " You haven't heard what it was yet,"

" Trust me, it's no,"

" Perhaps you should .. er...," Gandalf trailed off, which was most unlike him. However, he was stumped as to what would bring Aragorn's attention. A box of chocolates? Flowers? A razor?

He could feel Boromir waiting patiently beside him.

" Yes?"

" Perhaps you should," said Gandalf firmly. It may sound strange, but, when it came down to it, wizards were allowed to sound strange. One of the perks of the job.

" Thanks," said Boromir drily. " I'll keep that in mind,"

Boromir watched as Gandalf excused himself and hurriedly left, then sighed to himself. Perhaps he should do something. But what? They could hardly have a relaxing day by the sea.

Gloomily, Boromir turned to look in the direction that Aragorn was. He had refused Boromir's offer to stay with him, explaining that he would only distract him from his work. And he would. That, thought Boromir grimly, was the whole bloody point.

However, Aragorn seemed almost scared of the prospect of being distracted from his duties, a once firm man reducded to someone anxious to achieve. It was his morals, thought Boromir. No-one else had the same level of duty-bound morals that Aragorn hid under the disguise of muddy costumes and dodgy stubble. Everyone else had it in limited doses, but Aragorn, he wanted to save everyone.

Boromir sighed again, and started to dismantle a twig in front of him. This was not his thing. The Lord of Gondor should be actively leading a group of soldiers onwards, or hunting random unlucky creatures, or quaffing large amounts of Gondorian ale whilst engaging in tales of bravery and the odd legend. No one had ever bothered to teach him the art of seduction. Although, he reflected, it was just as well considering some of his ancestors.

Seduction, romance and general eroticism were just not on the cards for a lord of Gondor. He blamed his father. No, you would have to have had a long, colourful past to be good at that, such as the elves.

Elves.

Oh God, no.

Well.....

No! I would have to be desperate to even consider it.

He could feel his subconcious raise a metaphysical eyebrow at this.

I'm not that desperate!

Honest!

The twig increased in destruction speed. Boromir tried not to glance over to where Legolas was sitting. Stiff resolve, that was what was needed. And cold showers. Lots of cold showers. What he needed at this moment was a distraction.

Merry looked up in surprise as Boromir wandered over to sit with them. Boromir had been extrememly aloof recently.

" Hi," Merry cast around for something to say, " Nice weather, isn't it?"

" Not really," Boromir frowned. Was that all that anyone could comment to him nowadays? However, Pippin was happy to interupt at this point.

" Is it getting more dangerous? Are there orcs about?"

" Er. Yes?"

Pippin looked doubtful. Merry simply looked panicked.

" Are then all in hiding then?" he asked.

" Possibly," Boromir allowed.

Pippin looked smug. " That's why Aragorn doesn't want us to have fires, isnt it?"

" Yes," Boromir, who really didn't want to continue on this train of thought positioned himself carefully on a log. " So who won?" he commented.

" Won? Won what?" Merry blinked.

" You two always have an argument brewing somewhere," Boromir raised an eyebrow.

Pippin looked guiltly over his shoulder. " We're not supposed to,"

" We're too noisy," confided Merry, who dropped his already low voice a notch or two.

" Aragorn?" sighed Boromir, and avoided Gandalf's gaze.

Merry nodded.

" Well he's not here," said Boromir irriatably. " Have an argument,"

The hobbits looked at him in surprise.

" But not about muffins," added Frodo, who like the rest of the remaining Fellowship had been listening in. Pippin, delighted with this approval, saluted a response to Frodo and immediately fell upon the topic of fish. No one really wanted to ask him why.

Sam looked hopeful. " If he's not here," he tried. " can we have a fire too?"

Boromir met Gandalf's gaze and held it steadily.

" Why not," he said. Sam gave a squeak of approval and rushed off to collect some wood before people could change their minds. The remainder of the Fellowship eyed Boromir thoughtfully.

" You're playing with fire," murmered Gandalf.

" After Aragorn's banned it?" Boromir scoffed. " I suspect I'm playing with ice instead,"

" Ice still kills," warned the wizard. " Just slower,"

" Unless a large chunk falls on you," offered Frodo.

" And what about Aragorn?" asked a cautious Glimi. Boromir noted the fact that everyone's eyes swiveled towards him for his answer.

" I'll sort him out," he said. There was a collective sigh of relief from the Fellowship, who knew that Boromir was quite good at sorting things out in his own blunt way. However, Boromir couldn't shake the feeling that Gandalf was giving him a skepical look still.

" And how will you sort him out, may I ask?" he murmered in Boromir's ear as soon as he had the chance.

" I'll find a way,"

" I sincerely hope you do," Gandalf watched with a mild interest as a fire was rapidly produced by Sam. " Samwise is an industrious fellow when he gets going. And don't rush off, Boromir," he added as Boromir tried to slink away. " you are, after all, supposed to be protecting us from the wrath of Aragorn," Gandalf glanced up. " which may be sooner than you had hoped."

Boromir's heart sank to his boots.

When he finally steeled himself to turn round, he noticed that Aragorn, although not going ballistic for the fire, was giving Gandalf a look of pure hatred. Legolas, elf of many talents, had already disappeared off for his watch.

" Could I have a word?" Boromir moved to Aragorn's side. Aragorn broke his furious glare at Gandalf to flicker briefly onto the warrior.

" Couldn't it wait?" he muttered.

" No," Boromir stalked off. The rest of the Fellowship attempted to continue with what they were doing in an innocent and non-attention seeking way.

" Now, the thing about trout...," started Pippin.

* * *

Aragorn had been having a bad few days after the first orc attack. Despite no one being injured, the fact that this relationship was causing problems within the quest was slowly and unpleasantly growing in his mind. They hadn't been caught, they hadn't been killed. However, they could very well have been. The original attack could have kept their warriors busy whilst another charge swept in to seize the hobbits. There could have been backup. There could have been anything. And they had been seperated, unwatchful and generally having their own fights rather than concentrating on enemies outside of the group. This was a bad thing.

Aragorn sighed angrily to himself as marched after Boromir; it was unfair of him to blame the Gondorian. However, it didn't help when Boromir decided that their relationship allowed him to flaunt all the rules. The whole Legolas thing was a case in point. There was no way it should have progressed to this level; Legolas had always been a friend, if a rather knowing one, and the smell of burning bridges was rather strong in the air every time Boromir said anything towards the elf.

Aragorn glared around the area, trying to locate his missing lover. Again, the Gondorian had managed to split up the group! He finally managed to find Boromir leaning against a tree, watching him with a rather wary expression, like a kitten faced with a bucket of cold water. Boromir had been giving him those sorts of looks for a while now, ever since Aragorn had rebuffed his attentions to try and focus on the job in hand. Well, the other hand. In fact, he could say he had been grumpier and grumpier ever since that night. That obviously wasn't Boromir's fault though, he told himself. Honestly.

Aragorn marched up to the warrior and his tree.

" What the hell is this all about?" Aragorn snapped. " We can't afford to be complacent about this,"

" Calm down," Boromir drawled.

Aragorn stared at him as though he had gone mad. " Calm down? CALM DOWN? Have you any idea what we're about to face?" Aragorn slammed his fist into the trunk of the tree, producing a thudding noise and the distint possibility of annoyed squirrels. " And now Gandalf has let them build fires...,"

" I did,"

" What?" Aragorn slowly lifted his eyes to meet Boromir's steady gaze.

" I let them build a fire," repeated Boromir, trying to keep hold of the steady gaze. He was treated to an ice-cold glare, irriatance mixed with incredulous, and attempted not to shiver. Aragorn had the perfect eye colour for ice-cold glares, and he knew damn well how to use it.

" And why," said Aragorn softly. " did you feel that you could do this?"

The soft and pleasent voice scared Boromir more than if the ranger had started shouting, swearing and punching anything that was nearby. He never knew how to handle the polite ones.

" You're being unreasonable," Boromir frowned, disliking where this was heading.

" Oh, am I?" Still the soft, gentle, dangerous voice.

" Yes,"

" I see," Aragorn gave him a last look, then brushed past him, face like thunder or at least a damn fine rainstorm. Boromir shut his eyes in despair, and turned slightly.

" Aragorn..."

But the ranger had already gone, leaving only twitching leaves in his wake.

* * *

Legolas had been aware of the situation and tensions in the group for some time, and was trying his best to ignore it. However, it certainly wasn't trying its best to ignore him. Aragorn had managed to change into a snarling tiger in a remarkably small space of time, and kept giving him small yet annoying tasks to undertake. Legolas, who knew how to properly wind people up, always accepted these with polite helpfulness, enjoying the look that he received whenever Aragorn didn't think he was looking. However, it was getting to the stage where it was becoming distinctly annoying, and some of the tasks were beginning to take their toll on his clothes. Elves were not bred to collect firewood.

Aragorn also appeared to be incredibly generous with his shower of annoyance. Anyone who put a toe out of line was snarled at, except for Gandalf - Aragorn might be grumpy, but he certainly wasn't yet suicidial - and Boromir had apparently fallen from the tree of favour. They hadn't even bothered to get him back for the clothes swipe, which was most disappointing as he had many other ideas up his perfectly tailored sleeves. And now Boromir appeared to be lurking around his general area. Boromir was not a good lurker, he decided. He just didn't have the patience for it. Equally, his armour didn't help the cause by making a cheerful jingling noise every time he moved.

" Did you want something?" asked Legolas pleasaently. There was a jingle as Boromir jumped.

" No," the voice was unsure.

" Then are you taking up a new occupation in stalking?" he enquired polietly. Boromir, for lack of anything else to say, grunted.

There was a long pause. Legolas idly picked at his nails as he waited for the warrior to continue.

" I..," started Boromir, finally. Legolas nodded encouragingly.

" You..?" he prompted.

Boromir opened his mouth to speak but very little was produced other than a paniced look. Legolas sighed.

" You're here to ask for help regarding the situation with Aragorn, aren't you,"

" More or less," muttered Boromir.

" How much more and how much less?" Legolas raised an eyebrow. " No matter. The answer is no,"

Boromir stared at him. No had not been on the expectant answers.

" What?"

" No," Legolas gave him a winning smile. " Sorry,"

" But you always meddle in other people's buisness!!" said Boromir, still in shock. Legolas winced delicately.

" Good at this whole diplomacy thing, aren't you,"

" Why not?"

" What? Being bad at diplomacy? I suppose people may declare war on you or something,"

" No, why won't you medd...help??"

Legolas gave another smile. He had a whole supply of smiles on standby for every occasion.

" Memory that bad eh?"

Boromir waved a hand expressively. " If it's about that punch, I'm sorry! I didn't mean to..," Boromir paused as he saw that look that was being directed at him. " Okay, okay, I DID mean to," he amended. " but it was only in the heat of the moment!"

" Well, that's very good to know," replied Legolas gravely. " But it changes nothing. I am not allowed to - what was the eloquant phrase? - meddle in your business again. So," Legolas supplied bright smile no.45. " I won't."

" But I'll do anything!" said Boromir desperately. Legolas looked thoughtful.

" Within reason," the warrior added quickly. Legolas shrugged.

" At least you're learning," he said idly. " Well...,"

" Yes?"

" I suppose that might be something you could do for me but...," Legolas paused, and gave a dramatic sigh. " .. I'm sure it wouldn't be within reason. Just not suitable....," Legolas gave a quick side glance at Boromir. " So, there is nothing you could do for me."

Boromir looked suspicious.

" What was it?"

" Hmmm?" Legolas had started to fine-tune one of the arrows taken from his quiver with nimble slim fingers.

" The thing," Boromir glanced over his shoulder as if he expected to see evesdroppers, and turned back to Legolas. " The unsuitable thing. What was it?"

Legolas looked at him in mild reproach. " But it is not within reason, Boromir. I couldn't possibly...,"

" Yes you could,"

" Hmmm," Legolas squinted, for lack of a better word, down the arrow shaft assessingly.

" There's no harm in listening," continued Boromir, anxiously.

" Consider the amount of wars that have occurred because people listened to the wrong person," said Legolas idly, as he carefully checked the shaft for flaws. " Besides which," he glanced at Boromir, " you're too young,"

" What?!"

Legolas sighed again. " You have a surprisingly limited vocabulary, Boromir,"

Boromir, in a hurry to take offence, ignored this. " I am not too young!" he fumed. Legolas gave him another smile, no.73, Patronising Human, which was only available to those races that inclined towards living forever, barring accidents with sharp pointy things.

" Of course you're not," he soothed. Boromir sulked for a few minutes before getting back into the battle.

" So what is it?" he persisted.

" Why, Boromir," Legolas gave him an indulgent look. " Are you begging for this?"

" No!!"

" Hmmm. Pity," Legolas re-placed the now extremely elf-handled arrow back in his quiver, and turned to face Boromir. " Tell me when you are,"

Boromir glared at him.

" I won't beg!" he snapped.

" Indeed," said Legolas mildly.

" Lords of Gondor don't beg," continued Boromir, furiously.

" That's nice," Legolas had gone back to examining his nails.

" It's part of our principles!"

" Principles can be SO important," mused Legolas lightly.

" It would be beneath me!"

" Oh, undoubtably," Legolas idly flicked off a bug that had been crawling on him into the depths of a suitable bush. Boromir stared at him. There was a pause.

" ... bugger," muttered Boromir, finally. " You're going to win this aren't you,"

Legolas nodded sympathetically. " I normally do,"

There was a longer pause.

" Please, Legolas. I need to know," growled Boromir through gritted teeth. Legolas looked at him in amazement.

" THAT'S begging from where you come from?"

" We DON'T beg from where I come from!!"

Legolas raised his eyebrows. " It needs work," he comented. Boromir scowled.

" I can't do any better," he protested.

" Come, come," said Legolas. " I'm sure you can. In fact," Legolas turned his head to take in the limited view again. " I know you can,"

" What would you have me do?" snarled Boromir.

" Knees would be a start,"

" No!"

" Oh, let me guess." Legolas glanced back at him briefly. " It's undignified?"

" Yes it is!"

" But surely," Legolas a gave sweet innocent smile. " that's the point?"

Boromir muttered something rude under his breath, and looked around desperately as though nature would come to his rescue. When nature (being self-centred buggers) failed to produce a distraction or other suitable rescue, Boromir slowly and grudgingly sank to his knees.

" Please," he tried. Legolas cocked his head to one side.

" I am not impressed by the emotional quality of your plea," he commented.

" Oh, for god's sake!" exploded Boromir.

" You must have some sort of despertation or pleading in your voice," remarked Legolas. " Even agony would do at a pinch," The elf mused the problem to himself.

" I don't DO agony!"

" I could shoot you in the leg if you want," offered Legolas.

" I don't get shot either!" snarled Boromir. Legolas tutted.

" Well, that's just tempting fate isn't it," he remarked.

There was another pause. Boromir was slowly aware of his knees starting to get wet through the material. Finally, he gave it another try.

" Please, Legolas. Just tell me,"

Legolas raised an eyebrow. " Very pitiful. Marvellous! And you said you couldn't,"

Boromir looked hopeful. " So I can get up again?"

Legolas looked surprised. " Was that part of the deal?"

Boromir groaned. " I'm getting soggy knees down here," he complained.

" Well, then certainly you may get up," said Legolas. " Let it not be said that a Prince of Mirkwood inflicted soggy knees on the son of Gondor for no reason," Legolas sat down on the log again, and indicated to Boromir to join him. Gratefully Boromir did so.

" So...?" he prompted.

" Ah, yes, the little task," Legolas adjusted himself on the log.

" Yes?" frowned Boromir, after a pause.

" I know you're admirably suitable," continued Legolas, who was in no hurry to reveal all.

" And?"

" Although, obviously, it would be a challenge,"

" Why are you dragging this out?"

" Why are you so impatient?" Legolas countered.

" I don't have time to be impatient!"

" Well, I do." Legolas sniffed. " I have a remarkable amount of time to drag it out, as you put it. And please remember who is in control in this situation and who has soggy knees,"

" Sorry,"

" Accepted." Legolas flicked another bug off his arm. " As I was saying-"

" -slowly-"

" As I was saying," continued Legolas, giving Boromir a hard stare. " there is an unsuitable job you could perform for me. But, " Legolas ignored Boromir's groan. " we shall discuss that later. For now, let us focus on the problem in hand,"

" You being annoying?"

Legolas eyed Boromir thoughtfully. " You really are bad at this whole subserviant thing, aren't you," he commented. Boromir took on a suitably subserviant expression. " No. I refer to the problem of Aragorn,"

" Oh. Sorry,"

" The problem as I see it," continued Legolas, satisfied with the meek look. " is that Aragorn is over worked and over stressed, making him incapable of dealing with anything other than being leader. Correct?"

" Yep,"

" Delicately put," Legolas gave a slight shudder. " Also, Aragorn cannot get any relief as the dangerous situation is not going get any easier, and he is not partaking of the available sexual relief,"

" I am still here you know," said the available sexual relief irriably.

" Am I correct?"

" Well. Yes."

" Excellent!"

" Glad someone thinks so!" said Boromir sulkily.

" Furthermore," Legolas continued, unabashed by Boromir and his comments. " you, as the sexual partner, are equally not achieving any relief, and therefore are getting frustrated and tetchy. Correct?"

Boromir gave a grunt. Legolas nodded in a satisfied way.

" Which suggests," Legolas smiled. " that we need to de-stress Aragorn, does it not?"

" Oooh, that'll be easy," muttered Boromir.

" Or..,"

" Or?" Boromir perked up. " There's an or?"

"Or we tackle it by forecefully removing the responsibilities for a night or so. ALL responsibilities,"

" Possibly," Boromir conceded thoughtfully.

" Or...,"

" There's more than one or?" asked a flabbergasted Boromir, who tended not to go past the first option.

Legolas gave him a condesdending look. " I'm an elf. There's always more than one or,"

" Especially handy when you're in a boat, I should think," added Boromir cheerfully.

" Are you going to take this seriously or not?!"

" Sorry,"

" Which reminds me," said Legolas drily. " How on earth did you manage this?"

" Pardon?"

" This relationship has only been active for about two weeks, yet you have still manage to reach the angst stage already," Legolas sighed. " We have romantic and occasionally erotic songs in my culture. If this was part of a plot the composer ought to be shot immediately for being entirely unoriginal and extrememly unrealistic,"

" Well this isn't some plot for other people's amusement! It happens to be my life!" snapped Boromir.

Legolas shrugged. " No matter. We're here now." he said. " Anyway, the third option,"

" Yes?" said Boromir, who was beginning to recover from being called unrealistic.

" You ensure that Aragorn gets concerned that he will lose you if he does not start paying you more attention," said Legolas. " Therefore he will stop focusing so hard on the rest of us. Which would be nice,"

Boromir frowned. " How do I do that? He already forgets my existance as it is,"

Legolas smiled. " A competitor perhaps?"

Boromir stared at him blankly.

" Which, ironically, leads us to that little task I had for you," Legolas stared back at the view and waited for the suggestion to pentrate the warrior's resisting mind. Boromir, however, refused to accept the interpretation that had entered into his unsuspecting mind.

" What are you suggesting?" he said finally.

" What I am suggesting," said Legolas calmly. " is the idea that you will spend time with me in a most unsuitable way,"

Legolas gave a smile to the warrior who appeared to have frozen to his seat.

" But...," managed Boromir.

" Butts will be a part of it I assure you," said Legolas gravely.

" But I can't!"

Legolas looked at him in mock shock. " I assure you you most certainly can. The word you are searching for is "won't". Not can't,"

Boromir managed to finally get animated. " But I can't cheat on him!"

" Really?"

"Really!"

" Hmmm. He has got you wrapped round his little finger hasn't he. Mind you," mused Legolas, idly watching Boromir go through the stages of panic, " he is remarkable in bed. I don't wonder you wish to be faithful. All that pent up passion. He was the same to me,"

Boromir froze again. Really, thought Legolas, if he froze anymore he'd turn into a human shaped ice-lolly.

" You?"

" Me," lied Legolas.

" You and him?" said Boromir, still trying to grasp the idea.

" Are you really surprised?"

" But .. when? How?" Boromir spluttered.

" Oh, before you two had met. And as for how," Legolas's eyes twinkled. " I think you know already,"

Poor boy, thought Legolas midly. I doubt whether he could look more shocked if I had stripped and proceeded to do something obsence with a cucumber.

" This is my fee," added the elf, when he was sure Boromir was past the worst of it. " Whether Aragorn catches us is up to you,"

" I can't!" repeated Boromir, who seemed stuck on one train of thought.

" That's that inaccurate word again," Legolas smiled at him. " So, it's only the prospect of cheating on Aragorn that's the problem here?"

" Yes!"

Legolas looked smug. Boromir stood up from the log so sharply that any passers by could assume he had a splinter in an unfortunate area. Legolas waited until the shoulders slumped in acknowledgement.

" How did you want to do it?" Boromir said in defeat. Legolas smiled to himself.

" I would imagine the usual way," Legolas idly examined his fingernails, which were getting a lot of attention in recent times. " I'll tell you where and when. You just be ready, clear?"

" And you're sure this will work?"

Legolas hesistated. Boromir hadn't needed to work on the whole desperation and pleading tone in that bit, although that sort of thing came naturally to lesser races. Well, this was certainly the more enjoyable method that came to mind.

" Sure? No. Confident? Yes," Legolas looked at him. " Did you have any other options available to you?"

" He could get over it!" Boromir said desperately.

" And he might not. Are you backing out on me?"

Boromir, who happened to be slowly backing away as though the conversation was somewhat polluting him, stopped. " No." he sighed. Legolas nodded, as though he had knew this answer all along.

" Be ready," he ordered as Boromir finally managed to get out the clearing.

* * *

Aragorn had finally allowed them a rest. He had marched them for most of the morning at a high speed, to the extent that Pippin had had to be carried briefly by Boromir to get his breath back where he had perched on the warrior like a loud and hobbit shaped backpack. Aragorn had finally chosen some rocks as a rest camp before the Misty Mountains properly started, and had promptly asked Legolas in a distinctly ordering way to refill the water flasks.

The elf rose gracefully to his feet in his usual fashion, and looked towards Boromir who was busy trying to detatch Pippin from his shoulders with wails of protest from the said hobbit.

" I believe, given the terrain, that I would feel more comfortable with someone watching my back." he replied. " Boromir, could you assist?"

Boromir jerked his head up in shock and panic, then looked guiltily at Aragorn who luckily had his back to him. Aragorn regarded Legolas with suspicion, made a hmmmm noise, and watched the elf as he made his way past the Gondorian. Boromir glanced at Legolas, who as usual was betraying nothing through his expression, and silently followed. Legolas mentally rolled his eyes. Boromir doing anything without any form of argument was like Gimli with a desire to be clean shaven. Highly odd.

Thankfully, no one commented on Boromir's sudden submissive state, and they were able to make their way unmolested towards the nearby stream. Boromir could feel Aragorn's eyes burning on the back of his neck, and tried to think of something entirely different. This was not particularly difficult as they reached the stream and Legolas turned to face him.

" Er. Water?" asked Boromir hopefully. Legolas raised an eyebrow.

" There's time enough for water later," he replied. Boromir tried to look unpanicked. Legolas observed this with amusement.

" Exactly what are you expecting me to do?" the elf asked. The warrior waved a hand expressively.

" Well," he said awkwardly. " you know."

Legolas blinked. " What do I know?" he asked, slightly bewildered. Boromir made another few gestures, accidentally hitting a low hanging bush in the process. Legolas watched politely, still confused.

" I'm sorry, are you suggesting something horticultural?"

Boromir sighed. Evidentally the whole innuendo chapter had been missed from the wise and long education of the elves. " I've heard tales," he said awkwardly. Legolas nodded in understanding.

" Ah, you have heard about the exaggerated tale of Giril-anan and the Hamster," Legolas shrugged. " I believe that actually originated through Men. We were most surprised to learn of it,"

" Er," said Boromir,whose reference had had no hamsters in there at all (and thank god for that!). Legolas noted the confusion.

" Something else?"

" Well," Boromir wanted to shuffle his feet. " I've heard that elves can .. well... carry on for a long time...?"

Legolas raised an eyebrow. " Certainly, after the first thousand years you learn at least some element of control," he replied kindly. " But you should not fear, Boromir,"

" No?" Boromir, who felt there was actually plenty to still worry about, looked at him hopefully.

" Certainly not. The average session only lasts for five hours," Legolas smiled at the frozen expression that this produced, then decided that teasing could wait. " Do not concern yourself, Boromir. That is not complusory,"

" Oh," Boromir felt himself shrink away as Legolas approached him. The elf paused.

" What is complusory, however, is for you to stop retreating," he remarked. Boromir halted. Legolas smiled kindly, and quickly glanced back the way they had come. They were shielded from the path, and the stream itself was remarkably defensive against any sort of enemy, ranger, orc or otherwise. They needed to do this quickly, Legolas decided, before anyone came to check on them or indeed Boromir died of a heart attack. Boromir held his breath as Legolas casually ran a hand down Boromir's cheek, as if assessing him for market.

" You will need to breathe," he remarked. He was pleased to note the Gondorian was now against one of the rocks anyway, stopping the warrior from any attempt at retreating. He was more pleased to note that, despite the panic that was clearly flashing in Boromir's eyes, the warrior was responding to Legolas' gentle caresses. Legolas was vaguely reminded of trying to calm a young colt.

The elf moved closer, so that Boromir could feel the foreign breath on his own lips, the press of Legolas' lean body against him. Legolas noted the shudder that ran through the Man as he gently ran his tongue over the warrior's lips, and smiled inwardly to himself. He was slightly taken aback when Boromir suddenly and without warning started to kiss him back, starting to become more dominate. However, this was certainly not going to become a problem.

However, Boromir suddenly stiffened again, and not in the good way. Legolas, who had heard the ranger's approach, casually glanced over his shoulder towards the obviously furious figure of Aragorn. He ran a hand possessively down Boromir's side, then turned to face the ranger.

Aragorn looked like he was about to explode with the same fury as Gandalf's famous fireworks, but presumably without so many flashing lights. Legolas viewed him in interest. Aragorn's eyes slid from Legolas to Boromir, who was still performing his impressive statue impression, and back again.

" What," he snarled, obviously trying to control himself. " is going on?"

Legolas looked sympathetic. " Eyesight going, Aragorn?" he asked sweetly. Boromir cringed as Aragorn's upset glare sought him out again.

" I didn't mean-" he began, but Aragorn cut him off.

" I'm sure you didn't,"

Legolas, who wasn't being crucified by guilt at this point, had a feeling that Aragorn's anger seemed to be aimed at him rather than the nervous figure of his lover. Which was just as well really. Legolas had been slightly surprised at Boromir's immediate reaction to panic, which only proved that Men could not be relied upon to be constistant with their emotions. He raised his chin slightly in defiance as Aragorn glared at him.

" Boromir," snapped Aragorn, " go back to the camp."

Boromir glanced from one figure to the other uncertainally." But," he began and shut up after Aragorn gave him a look. Happy to leave it at a but, Boromir skulked off, occasionally giving a glance over his shoulder. Aragorn waited until he had gone. The two figures faced each other in silence for a while, gazes locked. Finally Aragorn, who was always going to lose the battle with patience, decided to make a stand.

" What do you want?" he snarled. Legolas carefully dusted his arm with a hand, unconcerned.

" What do I want?" he echoed. " Regarding what, pray tell?"

" You know exactly what I'm referrring to! I caught you red-handed for gods sake! You think I want to discuss what's for supper?!" Aragorn was incredious.

" In that case, surely it was obvious what I wanted?" Legolas gave a winning smile. " Unless your observations were not as strong as you once thought,"

Aragorn felt they were avoiding the main issue as usual. There were many faults with Men but at least they could call a spade a spade!

" He is mine," he snapped. Legolas looked faintly surprised.

" Really? Could you produce the necessary paperwork?"

" You know exactly what I mean!!" Aragorn had the distinct urge to scrawl that particular phrase across the elf's forehead. Legolas, possibly noting the motivation for graffiting, felt that perhaps they should progress further. It would be most inconvient if a fight occurred before even the fundamentals of the argument were reached.

" Yours?" he said delicately. " And does he know this?"

Aragorn stared at him.

" Of course he does!" he snapped, trying to forget the days of arguments. Legolas, who had no such qualms, raised an eyebrow. The said eyebrow was receiving a great deal of exercise recently; he made a note to raise the other one in case one was over muscled.

" Then why, if I may be so bold, would he be engaging in affections towards myself?" Legolas put on a puzzled look, watching the ranger carefully. Aragorn was unimpressed, having seen some of the elf's dramatics at least once before.

" Because you are trying to manipulate him!"

" Really? So where were you when I was manipulating? After all, it doesn't happen overnight,"

A stoney expression that could equal the Misty Mountains for quarrying prospects settled over Aragorn's features.

" I've been busy," he replied.

" Oh?" Legolas examined his perfectly manacured fingernails.

" You know what the situation has been like!" Aragorn added, caught in the usual trap of having to fill up silence.

" Hmmmm," offered Legolas.

" I can't stop simply because of this!"

Legolas wondered briefly whether Aragorn had worked out who he was actually arguing with. Probably not.

" Ah," he added helpfully.

Aragorn appeared to work out what was going on and scowled. he waved a threatening finger towards the elf, who had already noticed this strange human need to threaten people with waving things during arguments.

" Are you suggesting that in some way I'm responsible for YOUR actions?!" he snapped. Legolas smiled.

" Of course not," he soothed. " That would be giving you far too much credit. I am merely disputing the owenership of the Gondorian,"

Aragorn fumed.

" He knows-"

" I doubt it," Legolas' reply was short and blunt, a description he normally shied well away from.

" Of course he-"

" Have you asked him?" Legolas wandered over to find a good place to sit to view the entertainment, as a perplexed expression crept over Aragorn's face. This was a good thing, as general aggressive behaviour was quite dull and Legolas really didn't want any holes in his nicesly tailored non-crinkle clothing. And the wound would be annoying as well.

" Well, he knows-"

" From the shouting, the lack of acknowledgement, the glares or the reduction in affection?" Legolas perched himself on a rock and crossed his legs, making him look slightly like a giant blonde version of a leprechaun although presumably without the lucky charms. Aragorn stared at him.

" That's not true!"

" Oh," Legolas seemed disinterested.

" We don't argue constantly, and there has been no "reduction in affection" as you put it!"

" Ah?"

" And don't give me this oh and ah stuff! I know what you're trying to do!"

" Hmmm?" Legolas gave him a vaguely interested glance.

" And I'm not falling for it!"

" Jolly good," murmered Legolas, and adjusted his position.

" And I should bloody well shoot you for what you're doing!" snapped Aragorn, who felt the elf wasn't taking things seriously.

" For sitting on a rock?" Legolas looked faintly surprised. " Bit extreme, wouldn't you say?"

" Not the rock! Boromir!" Aragorn took a few paces forward. " And if you oooh and aaah at me again, I will personally thump you!"

" Ah, the personal touch. So many people don't bother," Legolas gave a friendly smile. " Aragorn, there is a saying. Take what you want and pay for it,"

Aragorn frowned. " And?!"

" Perhaps you should consider how expensive Boromir actually is,"

* * *

Boromir had crept back to the camp with his metaphorical tail tucked firmly between his legs. He had nagging urges to glance over his shoulder to see if he could spot them, but without the development of x-ray vision this was undoubtably a wistful thought. His general posture also had the added bonus that the remainder of the Fellowship took one look at him and kept away, allowing him to lick his wounds in peace.

Well, that was the plan anyway.

" Boromir!!" Pippin bounced up to him gleefully. " You said you'd continue teaching us sword play!"

Boromir had to make a quick mental adjustment. Merry, who was slightly more observant, managed to work out that everything might not be fine in the world of Boromirs.

" Erm, well, we don't have to do it now," he said hesitently. Pippin looked at him as though Merry had suggested that to keep Frodo hidden from the ringwraiths they should paint him white and pretend he was a sheep.

" We're going up a mountain tomorrow! There's snow up there!"

" Well...,"

" Well nothing! I want time to throw snowballs!"

" Oh. I thought you were remarking on the terrain,"

Pippin looked puzzled and glanced upwards. " It's going to rain?"

" Look," Boromir finally managed to get a word in. " Lets just do it now, shall we?"

Pippin beamed, and gave Merry an elbow in the ribs (being the generous hobbit that he was). Boromir sighed and got in position. He glanced at Pippin.

" Well, draw your sword then," he remarked. Pippin opened his mouth to comment about his artistic abilities, caught Merry's expression and shut it innocently again. For the next five minutes, they were engaged in random sword exercises, mostly with Boromir trying to readjust to such shorter and sneakier opponants, and the hobbits bouncing around like the floor was on fire. Boromir glanced up as Aragorn approached, lost his concentration and accidentally walloped Pippin on the hand.

" Ow!" The hobbit gave a yelp.

" Oh, god, sorry!"

The hobbits glanced at each other, and charged in for the attack. Boromir didn't notice Aragorn's expression from his newly acquired position on the floor, but heard a chuckle from a nearby rock. Chuckles were good. He hadn't heard Aragorn chuckle in some time, and chucklers had a reputation of not being extremely angry either.

Boromir regained his feet once the hobbits had decided that Aragorn was also a viable target for attacking (these Tall People tended to stick together after all!), and dusted the sand out of his hair. He looked nervously towards Aragorn, who looked briefly sullen as old habits died hard, then ruffled Boromir's hair. Not that this did anything good to his general hairstyle, but it was the thought that counted and by Aragorn's look the thought did not linger on nasty or angst-ridden pathways. If it hadn't been for the vast cloud of crows flying towards them causing a mass exodist under nearby bushes (also dusting up everyone's hair apart from Legolas) things would have seemed to be completely fine. But you couldn't have everything.

* * *

Boromir managed to catch up to the elf when Aragorn started to march the group up towards the mountains again. He looked nervously towards the front of the group, then hissed towards Legolas.

" What happened?"

Legolas looked at him as though noticing him for the first time.

" The usual," he replied. Boromir stared at him.

" And what does that mean?!"

Legolas shrugged, unconcerned. " Vast amounts of shouting on his part, being right on mine," he replied. " The Usual."

Boromir glanced towards the front again. " So he was angry then?" he said doubtfully.

" Well, of course. That was the point,"

" To annoy the hell out of him?! What sort of a plan is that?!" snapped Boromir, for whom annoyance tended to be merely a usual side effect.

Legolas sighed patiently. " That was merely the first step in the said plan," he said reproachfully.

" Oh,"

" AND it worked marvellously. If slightly earlier than I had planned," continued the elf, a predatory gleam to his eye. Boromir looked innocent.

" Oh?"

" Well might you "oh" in that tone of voice, for this means that you have not fullfilled your payment," Legolas shrugged again. " However, we shall discuss that at a later date,"

Boromir waited for the panic to die down before speaking. " So what happens now?" he asked hesitatedly.

" We wait,"

" But...," protested Boromir, whose ability to wait was severely dubious even at the best of times.

" No buts. We will see what he will do," Legolas smiled. " I have it all under the strictest of controls, Boromir,"

" Hmmmmm,"

" Desist your hmmmmm noises and simply trust me." Legolas glanced at him. " Its not as if you really have a choice now is it?"

Boromir muttered and followed behind him.

* * *

Later that day they found themselves up the side of a mountain, which was rather pretty in a deadly, frozen, unpleasent way. According to Gandalf, this was A Good Thing and Needed To Be Done. This was a matter of opinion; the hobbits were in a better position than anyone else as the snow had proved to be taller than they were and therefore Aragorn and Boromir suddenly found themselves as vertical pack ponies. Gimli was battling Boromir for the competition of who could sulk the most; Boromir's objections were that his pair of hobbits tended to wriggle the most and he was against mountains on general principals - mostly the principal that it froze your bits off and his bits were in enough trouble without frostbite to add to his woes.

Gimli's particular sulk was well known to everyone. He had continually complained they were going the long way round, and kept talking about the pleasures of being underground to anyone foolish enough to spark him off. Pippin was banished to the rear of the group, until the time when the mountain was steep enough that even Gimli was saving his oxygen for his own use.

Boromir had mistakenly dropped Pippin in a big pile of snow as a punishment for wriggling too much against him, and now had wet hobbit pressed against him. Aragorn, who was desperately trying to keep control whilst also juggling a couple of hobbits (a trick that rangers tended not to need, and thank gods for that), had protested that the mountain was getting far too dangerous when most of it was coersed to fall on their heads. The big snowfall didn't make that much of a difference to Aragorn or Boromir's general outlook on life, although at least it managed to mess up Legolas' hair.

" Sod this!" Boromir yelled, as it seemed a reasonable excuse for backtracking.

Aragorn agreed, as did everyone else, including the pony. Gandalf hesitated in the face of Fellowship mutiny.

" Fine," he muttered.

Which brought them to the gates of Moria, which seemed as pleased to see them as the majority were to see them. They had all heard many tales of Moria, and for all but the most curious it sounded about as much fun as sitting on a hedgehog. The gates, for their part, refused stubbornly to budge. Gimli immediately blamed this on elf technology.

Aragorn moved closer to where Boromir had parked himself, the Gondorian having seen enough of Gandalf's annoyed expressions to have worked out this was probably a good time to be out of clouting range, and tried to find suitable things to say. Where Boromir had sat was also a good place to be at this present moment, given Gandalf's mini thundercloud, before lightning bolts decided to find new owners.

Legolas noted Aragorn's movements and smirked to himself. He perched himself on another rock, and starting singing softly; it was a magical, gentle song sang in elvish, which fascinated the hobbits who had always liked new songs and had an unexpected effect on Aragorn, who turned bright red. This was equally fascinating to everyone in the nearby area, as no one had realised that Aragorn could get that embarressed (apart from possibly Arwen).

Boromir glanced at Aragorn in confusion and not a small amount of amusement, moving his eyes over to Legolas who was pretending he hadn't noticed the ranger's embarressment and was still singing the rather catchy tune with a completely innocent expression on his face. Even Gandalf pricked up his ears.

" Hmmm," he commented. " Haven't heard that one for ages. Although I have always doubted the physical possibilities that the song suggests,"

Boromir frowned. " What does it mean?" he asked.

" And where they managed to get the goat from I have no idea," continued the wizard, who appeared to be in a little world of his own. " But then elves always did have some strange and downright perverted ideas about what Men got up to, wouldn't you say Aragorn?"

Aragorn managed a strangled noise. Boromir glared towards Legolas. Gandalf decided to focus back on his door. Boromir eyed Aragorn thoughfully.

" So what does it mean?" he repeated.

" This bit?" sighed Aragorn. " Loosely translated it means....," He suddenly noticed the hobbits leaning closer. " ... er, I'll tell you later,"

" That's not fair!" snapped Merry, picking up a stone and hurling it across the waters in a temper.

"Yeah!" added Pippin. " Just because-erp!"

Aragorn grabbed Pippin's arm before the Took could follow his cousin's example of lobbing rocks towards the creepy waters. Pippin felt he had been most picked upon.

" Do not disturb the waters," he warned, not knowing whether there was any danger or not but feeling this was a good distraction away from certain elvish songs entitled " The Joy Of Mating". He prayed to whatever gods were listening that the whole damn conversation would stop before he got even more embarressed, especially as Legolas was entering the cucumber bit (in a manner of speaking). However, the gods must have been listening; the doors of Moria swung open, taking everyone's minds off the subject. The whole nasty water monster thing, however, was just over the top.

* * *

Aragorn had been wondering how to address the problems throughout the whole of the first day underground. Not that there was much distraction. Apart from the odd body here and there, and a few gobin arrows decorating the walls, nothing really big and nasty turned up and everyone apart from the dwarf seemed to be in low spirits underground. Gimli, in constrast, was humming a song as he walked behind Gandalf. Merry and Pippin stuck so close to Boromir that the warrior often almost tripped over them. It was difficult to see where hobbit stopped and warrior began.

Aragorn eyed the elf thoughtfully. His own anger had dulled to a low ache, and since he hadn't been far from Boromir's side for the majority of the jounery he assumed that he had halted any further ... persusions that the elf may produce. Boromir, for his part, was firstly delighted then slightly irriated by Aragorn's attentiveness. A Gondorian warrior needed no chaperone!

However, if things went as they are, mused Aragorn hopefully. They should be back to normal.

Legolas happily ruined this idea by interfering in his thoughts once again. The elf obviously had no idea on mental privacy!

" So have you spoken to our little catamite?" he murmered. Aragorn, who until recently had always clung onto the hope that that word referred to a rock formation, winced, scowled and shrugged for good measure. It failed, although kept Legolas amused.

" Ah, so you haven't? Scared?"

" NO!" The echo bounced off the walls in a most accusing manner. The Fellowship skidded to a halt to stare at him. Gandalf raised his eyebrows, sighed, and continued. Aragorn vowed to lower his voice as the Fellowship continued.

" Really?" murmered the elf.

" Really," hissed Aragorn. " There is nothing to talk about and none of your business!"

" I'm afraid I will have to disagree with you there," said the elf calmly. " There appears to be some dispute over ownership,"

" He's not a pet!"

" Well, of course not," Legolas looked faintly surprised. " Pets tend to get patted on occasion don't they,"

" I - this is still none of your business!!" retorted Aragorn.

" Come, come now... well not literally as that would be messy.. if you're not treating him correctly then it's my duty to take him under my wing," Legolas smiled.

" You touch him-"

" Again?" supplied the elf helpfully.

" You touch him," repeated Aragorn, slowly and deliberately. " and I'll make you pay,"

" Really? Though payment of materials or labour?" Legolas raised an eyebrow, gave an elaborate bow, then strolled off to join the hobbits who were clustered near Gandalf. Aragorn snarled to himself, and almost crashed directly into Boromir, who was waiting for him. It was unlikely to have been a romantic crash either.

" Ah," said Aragorn, and suddenly found himself at a loss for words again. This was stupid. He could discuss more with the bloody elf than his lover! However, Boromir was not in the mood to start dallying round the bush.

" What the bloody hell's going on?!"

" I honestly," sighed Aragorn, " have no idea,"

This was not the answer that Boromir was hoping to hear. He eyed the surrounding areas as though expecting something nasty and big to emerge from the darkness, probably as a diversion. But that seemed to be their way, thought Aragorn glumly. If they didn't want to discuss or think about something, get something bigger and more urgent to occupy your mind instead. Or at least something more in your face, which could be the reason why Boromir and Pippin tended to be so inseperable. Well, that was a nicer reason that some of the others that he had considered anyway.

" Then I'll ask him," snapped Boromir. It was difficult to snap quietly, but then again Boromir had more experience in snapping than an annoyed crocodile. Aragorn grabbed his arm as the Gondorian barged past him. The warrior paused and stared back at him in puzzlement and vaguely repressed anger.

" I don't want you near him," said Aragorn carefully. Boromir looked no less puzzled, although the anger was winning the fight to creep towards the surface

" And why %^$ not?!" said Boromir, who meant to get to the bottom of this either through diplomacy or a really big pokey stick.

Aragorn sighed. " But I don't want him ... corrupting you again," he replied. Boromir stared at him, unsure whether to be puzzled or angry. But it was always best to stick to what you know.

" Corrupt me?" he snapped. " In what way?"

" What way d'you think!?" replied Aragorn in a slipped heated moment.

" I said I was sorry!"

" You've said a lot of things!"

" I won't do that sort of thing again!"

" Really? Can you be sure?"

Boromir stared at him with a seemingly blank expression.

" You," he said, pleasently. " are a complete and utter-"

" Watch out for the slippery rocks in front," came Gandalf's low call from the front.

"-," finished Boromir. " You completely ignore me, set yourself up as some dictator, and then expect me to happily sit back and take it? Why shouldn't I get some sort of attention?!"

" I knew it," Aragorn moved to leave. Boromir grabbed hold of his sleeve, which was the nearest thing that presented itself to be grabbed.

" You know nothing!" he said fiercely. " And furthermore, you don't want to know! Legolas was right,"

" So you've been speaking to him behind my back?"

" In front of you would have been slightly too obvious, wouldn't you say!" Boromir snapped. " You don't want to know, you pay more attention to anyone and everything else and furthermore YOU MADE ME SAY THAT BLOODY ELF WAS RIGHT!!"

Aragorn mused this over.

" So, you're not attracted to him then?"

Boromir blinked. " Are you even listening to what I'm saying?" he said, bewildered.

" Well, yes. If this problem can be solved, you're saying you wouldn't rush back into the arms of certain Mirkwood elves,"

" That is far too simplistic-"

" Most things, when boiled down, can be reduced to a simplistic idea,"

" Bollocks," replied Boromir.

" So we should talk then," Aragorn shrugged.

" Fine!"

There was a pause as they glared at each other. After a long pause, they decided to start walking as well as staring, which allowed practicality towards the situation as well as keeping in the mood of things.

Aragorn attempted to make a go of it after the first few minutes of intesive silence.

" I feel that your actions-" he began stiffly, when he was halted in mid-lecture by a snort of annoyed amusement from Boromir.

" For God's sake, give it up!" he said. " You can't control everything that surrounds you, and it's idiotic and downright dangerous to think otherwise!"

Aragorn looked genuinely bewildered, trying to make sense of it all. " I don't try and control everything!" he protested angrily. Boromir gave another mocking snort noise, and didn't bother to reply. Aragorn growled.

" I don't," he repeated, just in case this one was likely to convince him. It didn't.

" You've been trying to organise everything since we first stepped out of Rivendell," Boromir replied. " Welcome to reality! It's messy, it's short, it's chaotic and most of the time it makes no sense whatsoever! Aragorn," he sighed, and glanced at his lover. " you can't win everything. Just choose the right things to win, and bugger the rest,"

" And you accuse me of being simplistic?" snorted Aragorn. Boromir shrugged.

" No, I accuse you of shielding yourself from the world at that beautiful if sterile home of Rivendell. And worrying about Not Doing The Done Thing," Boromir, who tried to avoid doing The Done Thing as much as possible, shrugged and continued. Aragorn glared after him.

" I am _not_ going to fail in my mission!" he snapped. " I can't-"

" Oh, you can. Trust me, you can. There is no point trying to flog yourself into acting like one of those heroes you hear in the songs around fires. Those are the romantic versions, written by people who haven't been in the firing line staring at the danger and wondering how the hell they managed to get there. The real heroes of this world aren't those creatures who stand around priding themselves on doing the Done Thing and getting everything to fall neatly in their lap, everything saved at the last minute. They're the people who somehow manage to face a crisis even when they want to run like buggery at the thought of where it's all going to end. I'm not a hero, never have been. Just stick with what you know and get yourself through it. And trust me, what you don't know is how to organise a mismash bunch of races into a slick fighting force," Boromir thought about this. " Unless you want to nick one of Sam's sausages,"

Aragorn glared at him. " There's more to it than simply wanting to do the right thing,"

" Yeah. Doing it. There's not an elf book on how to save Middle Earth in the correct fashion. " Boromir shrugged. " Probably."

Boromir continued to walk after the faint light of Gandalf's staff, leaving Aragorn to trail muntiously after him. It was obvious that Boromir had thought about this for some time, his usual arguments consisting of approximately two sentences, a meaningful look and a large weapon. The fact that Boromir had bothered to think about this for some time was disturbing in itself, let alone his conclusions - of course, entirely wrong. Just because he happened to have organised a large city into whatever action was necessary at the time, Boromir thought he could instruct him! Pathetic. About as pathetic as... as....

Hmmmm.

Obviously the best thing to do in this situation was to clear things up in the usual manner of sweeping it all over the metaphorical carpet. The metaphorical carpet was getting a bit full after all of Aragorn's attentions to it, but that was entirely besides the point. Aragorn cleared his throat.

" I'm sorry you feel-" he said in what could have been a more sympathic voice.

Boromir swung round and slammed a fist against Aragorn's chest. " How on EARTH do you know how I feel?" he snarled. " I've spoken more to that dratted elf than I have to you!"

Aragorn stared at him angrily. Boromir returned the look defiantly, although Aragorn had enough experience in Boromir sulks by now to notice that the Gondorian was getting upset. And not in the usual fisticuff way either. Aragorn paused in his automatic retort to the comment, and studied Boromir carefully. A slightly worried expression added to the already busy emotions that were part of Boromir.

" What?" he said. Aragorn didn't reply. He was too busy being horrified by the emotional state of his lover, something that he had entirely missed whilst spending the majority of his time attempting to organise the group into god knows what. Boromir was scared. Boromir had many reactions to being scared, mostly voiced by either his fists, sword or any other physical thing that allowed him to pour his confidence back in. However, the fear was different, something with an obviously weary quality that suggested that the warrior had finally given up. Boromir gave a sigh, and turned to go.

" I'm sorry," said Aragorn quietly. Boromir paused and glanced back. That had actually sounded serious. He waited patiently for the "but", which never emerged as Aragorn managed to take the physical initative and hugged an intirely surprised Boromir. This was not a tactic he had been expecting.

" You think you can say sorry and everything's okay?" said Boromir, but his heart wasn't in his snapping. Aragorn shrugged, which was a mixture of comfort and discomfort in the fact that he was still hugging a not entirely shoving him off Boromir at the time.

" Look, I'll pay you more attention, I promise," came a muffled voice from somewhere around the Gondorian's shoulder. Boromir made a "yeah right" grunt.

" And I'll stop trying to organise people."

" Hmmm,"

" Although if we all get killed because of that it'll be your fault," he added in a cheerful fashion. Boromir's shoulder felt very up to date with local news.

" Thanks," said Boromir dryly.

" But you have to realise that I have responsibilities as co-leader of this group," continued Aragorn after a pause. Boromir made a grunt that suggested that necessary responsibilities were suitable for consideration. Legolas may have his detailed smiles, but Boromir was a master of grunt communication. Aragorn hesitated.

" So-" he tried. Boromir sighed.

" Is this a feeble attempt at making up?" he asked, giving Aragorn a sly look that normally suggested erotic suggestions with the local surroundings.

" The feeblist." Aragorn confirmed, and then hesitated. " How do you make up anyway?" he asked. Boromir shrugged.

" I think vast amounts of romantic waffle has to be said and general forgiveness banded around," he replied, who was equally unfamiliar with worlds of romance. Aragorn frowned.

" Romantic as in blue skies and music every time I look in your eyes, flowers and white fluffy bunnies?"

" Do white fluffy bunnies have to be a part of it?" asked Boromir dubiously.

" Oh, and chocolate," remembered Aragorn. Boromir perked up.

" That's more like it! There isn't a problem that can't be solved with chocolate!"

" What about war?"

" Really big heavy slabs of chocolate, fired from powerful catapults," replied Boromir promptly. Aragorn gave him a look.

" You've been thinking about this a lot, haven't you," he said drily. Boromir shrugged.

" Nothing else to occupy my mind recently," he replied. " Apart from the quest, but then again I want to be able to sleep at night,"

" Would you prefer me to take your mind off it?" Aragorn raised an eyebrow.

" Depends whether I get chocolate or not,"

" You have a one track mind," grumbled Aragorn. Boromir grinned.

" Ditto,"

* * *

They "made up" during the next break that Gandalf called, with much wrestling and not a bunny to be seen. The bunnies felt they had gotten off lightly.

* * *

Legolas once again found that smugness decended upon him. The warriors appeared to now be inseperable, and were engaged in what the hobbits had termed "ahhhhh" activities. The Mission, apparently, had been accomplished, although certainly payment was not. Legolas shrugged idly to himself; Aragorn distracted from bellowing in one's delicate ear was probably payment enough, although no doubt he could obtain enjoyment from Boromir's guilt.

He glanced around the mildly heated camp; Gimli, as usual, was happy to take on the majority of watches, and would have told manyof his fine dwarven tales if everyone else hadn't pretended to be asleep. Legolas was aware of Boromir shifting uneasily, then finally moving towards him, although by the amount of glancing behind him anyone would think the entire goblin army was tracking him. Boromir finally reached his target, and dropped to a crouch by the elf. Legolas gave him a glance.

" Boromir," Legolas greeted him warily. The said warrior seemed to be trying to look in many different directions at the same time.

" I need to talk to you," he hissed. Legolas raised an eyebrow.

" About?" The elf had assumed the problems were over, and that much occupying of their time was forthcoming, leading to a noisey and probably messy reunion. Boromir looked guilty, although that was fast becoming his usual expression of choice.

" The ... payment," he finally got out. Legolas looked more interested.

" Aragorn?" he prompted.

" I know, I know, but I can't leave a debt unpaid, and he won't know, he's sleeping really soundly!"

Legolas' eyes slid towards the ranger on the floor. Indeed, he did look rather content and rather sound asleep. He considered the offer. It was certainly tempting.

" Meet me in the next corridor," hissed Boromir, who had obviously considered he had given the elf plenty of time to think about it, and moved off towards the said corridor. Legolas looked cautiously at the ranger again, who chose that moment to roll slightly, mutter something, and readjust his position. Legolas moved to follow the warrior; after all, this was a matter of debt.

* * *

The way was dark. No, that didn't describe well enough. It was BLOODY dark. No light dared poke its unwelcome nose in these dead corridors, and Legolas was suddenly and unpleasently introduced to what it must be like to be human. Most unpalatable.

His eyes, used to low light level rather than pitch black, might be disadvantaged, but his ears easily located movement ahead. He strolled towards it.

" Boromir," he said. The shuffling figure didn't reply. Legolas frowned slightly. Which was his expression when someone decided to jump him from behind in a most anti-social way, Legolas' full attention being fixed on the other suspicious figure in front of him to miss the stealthy sneakings behind. He attempted to throw the annoying thing, but the figure managed to anticipate every move that Legolas did. Finally Legolas stilled; if there was pointy death to come it would have been introduced by now.

" Legolas," said the voice behind him pleasently. Legolas sighed.

" Aragon," he replied cautiously and not without a hint of irritation. " This is not amusing,"

" Really? Good. I don't mean for this to be a completely humourous occasion."

Legolas tried to shift his arms. He failed.

" And your purpose?" asked the elf, giving up on escape moves until the human tired slightly.

Aragorn probably grinned in the darkness. " Oh, we'll see what turns up," he replied. " Won't we Boromir?"

The shuffling figure in front made an acknowledging noise. Legolas narrowed his eyes, although undoubtably to have the full affect some light would be necessary. A withering glare is all very well, but the witherees have to know of its presence.

" Is this what you call payment?" he snapped towards the figure.

" Nah," replied Boromir cheerfully. " This is what I call revenge,"

" Hmmm," said Legolas, who would have called it a bloody nusiance. His attackers appeared to hesitate, possibly anticipating some other action. Legolas, who had assessed the best action would be to do nothing and bemuse your annoyers, waited patiently. It took years of practise to be to wait patiently whilst under restraint. There was suddenly fumbling, and a blindfold was pressed over his eyes, which the elf thought was rather overkill on the whole matter. His hands were tied in a depressingly well tied knot, and Legolas noted the brief flare of light through the material as someone - presumably Boromir - lit a torch.

Legolas waited for a few minutes.

" Are you ready?" he enquired polietly.

" Should we gag him as well?" muttered Boromir somewhere to the elf's left.

" Dangerous," came Aragorn's reply from behind Legolas.

" Yeah, but if he's going to continue giving us hints!" complained Boromir, who had strong feelings towards prisioners showing the correct ettiquette.

" I do apologise. If it helps, I am most impressed by the workmanship of the knots. Would you prefer me to make sounds of protest? I do a very good 'help me, please!'," offered the elf.

There was a mutter from Boromir, but then again muttering tended to be his main form of communication, and a surprising amused chuckle from Aragorn. Then there was a quite impressive if slightly alarming level of silence. It was the cold, bleak silence that pleaded for a dripping tap for atmosphere, the silence that rats scuttling five corridors away sounded like several herds of elephants who had just heard about the new All You Can Eat peanut factory. This was a _solid_ silence, and with the Men as well. Well, you lived and learned.

Legolas had the most unpleasent feeling; it was a faint tickling at the hairs at the back of the neck, and was accompanied by what appeared to be a much faster version of his heartbeat. In fact, his heartbeat was being most annoying by proving to be the loudest thing he could hear. He began to have the suspicion that they had left him there, in the darkness, looking like an utter lemon. Should he move?

Or were they waiting?

" Enough is enough," he said finally. " Release me,"

His words bounced round the rocky area, sending taunting versions of his words back at him. This was beginning to become annoying.

" Aragorn, I must insist...," he trailed off as he felt someone move closer to him, the breath a warm and somewhat bizarre sensation in his ear. Legolas frowned against his blindfold as a hand - or what he hoped was a hand - ran down his side briefly before resting in a territorial manner on his hip. Intriguing. And slightly erotic. But only slightly, for the fact that they were, after all, Men, and there was no reason to start encouraging their perverted tastes.

" I-" Legolas tried again, but was foiled by the introduction of a sudden movement, pulling him round in a quick motion into what could be called in most languages as a pasionate and somewhat possessive kiss. Aragorn, assumed Legolas. Evidentally the ranger had been most attentive towards the earlier song.

The kiss broke off, both parties being rather out of breath. Legolas paused in case any further action was being plotted.

" What....," he hesitated in case of further tongue introductions - after all, it was rude to talk with ones mouth full - but no tongue appeared to be forthcoming. He decided it was probably safe to continue.

" ... is your intention?"

" Hmmm?" Aragorn moved slightly and sounded distracted. " well, I would say it is probably say its to show you exactly how perverted we can be,"

" How kind,"

" We thought so," Aragorn's voice had lowered alarmingly to a purr, his hand once again roaming the landscape that was Legolas' body. Legolas, being an elf, started to consider the probably damage to his clothing.

" Would this consist of stripping? For I would gladly remove-"

" Bloody hell that was quick," came Boromir's impressed voice from somewhere outside of the blindfold.

" Calm down, Boromir," remarked Aragorn, amused. " He's worried we're going to start damaging his clothes, that's all," Legolas started to curse the perseptiveness of rangers.

" And are we?" asked Boromir cheerfully. Aragorn made what was obviously supposed to be a consideration noise, whilst his hands continued their epic adventure.

" Personally, I think it would be much easier to simply cut it off, wouldn't you say?" mused Aragorn. Boromir, who had always preferred ripping clothes off, gave him a funny look.

" After all, you would have to have your hands free to take anything off," continued Aragorn, obviously not willing to speed up matters. Legolas managed successfully not to growl.

" And if I swore not to escape?"

" Swearing is rather naughty,"

Legolas cursed Aragorn's elven heritage which had obviously managed to increase his scarcasm levels behind Legolas' back. Aragorn, possibly sensing the feelings aimed directly at him, decided to relent.

" Fine. " he said. " But on your honour."

" Is this a good idea?" came Boromir's query from the darkness. Anyone who had time for honour tended not to be in emergency situations.

Legolas felt the bonds being loosened, and made a show of rubbing his wrists.

" Get on with it," snarled Boromir, who was either getting nervous or impatient. He could never really tell the difference with the Gondorian. Boromir glanced towards Aragorn, who in the flickering torch light seemed rather demonic.

Legolas slowly removed the tunic slowly with what expression that wasn't being smothered in blindfold hopefully showing defiance and a touch of pissed off-ness. Aragorn, however, did not seem impressed by this show of extreme willpower in the face of extreme .. er.. pressure, and seized Legolas' wrists again as soon as the tunic had hit the floor.

" Is this really necessary?" complained Legolas, trying to ignore the cold breeze on his skin. Where did the dwarves get the cold breeze underground anyway?! Typical unhelpful creatures.

" Yes," replied Aragorn cheerfully.

" But I could be extremely ... helpful in your plans," continued the elf, the voice dropping to a low purr.

" Could you indeed? Well, that's very nice-"

" Could we PLEASE drop the foreplay and get on with it?!" snapped the increasingly frustrated Gondorian. Aragorn gave him an amused and indulgent look.

" Certainly! After you," he said.

" About time,"

Legolas opened his mouth to comment but found it invaded before he could get his carefully chosen words out. Boromir was an interesting contrast to Aragorn, being all fire and impatience, and after being stripped half naked in this sort of climate a bit of fire - even metaphorical - was always welcome. For someone who tended to take the back seat (as it were) for romantic engagements, Boromir was remarkably possessive, demanding without being too rough and incredibly thorough in investigations. Legolas found himself accidentally shoved against another body, who was hopefully Aragorn unless they had given an open invitation to anyone in Moria. Aragorn made no move to get out the way of being pressed up against by Man and Elf, and at least he wasn't cold and spikey like the room's walls. Physically anyway.

Boromir paused, mid fumble.

" How did you want to handle this?" Legolas heard said in a low voice. Aragorn obviosly made some sort of gesture, as Boromir gave another of his trademark grunts, and moved slightly away from his prey to presumably allow the ranger access. Legolas felt hands reaching to the fastening of his breeches, and vowed not to move. Ish.

" Worried?" breathed Aragorn in his ear.

" Me?" Legolas managed a scornful laugh.

" Hmmmm," Aragorn managed to remove the material in very little time at all, and moved back in silence. Legolas began to feel very cold indeed.

" Either move," he said finally after body parts had written an urgent petition to his brain regarding the central heating. " or give me some sort of warmth back!"

He jumped slightly as warm hands ran over his shoulder, lips appeared at the nape of his neck engaged in what appeared to be a motion of nipping, sucking and licking. He jumped further at the sudden introduction of a frontal assault, which probably orginated from Boromir given the movements that also managed to work perfectly in time with Aragorn's attack.

It was becoming increasingly difficult to keep quiet or, indeed, still. Legolas bit his lip and attempted to engage the legendary willpower of the elves. The Legendary Willpower of The Elves appeared to be not in the office. Legolas vowed to leave rude messages on the metaphorical answer phone for when it returned.

Movement halted instantly at the sound of the elf's first gasp that had managed to escape the clutches of his body and the prison wall of tightly clenched teeth. Legolas looked first bewildered then angry at this.

" You can't stop now!" he complained in a much stronger tone than he had planned. There was a silence from the surrounding area that went on for a long long time.

" Please continue!" Drat. Desperation was so not him, and so soon? An amused noise came from in front of him, probably remembering some soggy knees. Legolas ground his teeth. However, there was definitely no further stimulation occuring, which was definitely a Bad Thing.

" If this is how you wish to play it," continued Legolas loftily. " It bothers me not,"

His attackers, who could see exactly how bothered certain parts of the body were getting, remainded silent. This must have been an extreme test on Boromir's part, for whom silence was not a common occurance.

" Please!"

Aragorn smiled to himself, and nodded to Boromir who had been waiting eagerly for some sort of motion from the ranger. Legolas suddenly felt skin pressed against his own; apparently, Boromir was also an incredibly quiet stripper, which raised some serious questions about Gondorian education. But that was neither here nor there; what was deifinitely here was a hard firm and happily naked body against him, the owner's hands over him, the heat produced by the owner's lower half attempting to heat up the room and Legolas by itself. No one ever mentioned the sheer consideration of such body parts. They should definitely be awarded medals for such things.

Legolas almost forgot all about Aragorn as Boromir continued on his exploration, kisses interplayed with various investigations with hands. However, the obstruction regarding his hands was becoming annoying, Aragorn still not in any sort of mood to release any sort of physical control over to the experienced elf. Boromir glanced over Legolas' shoulder to meet Aragorn's amused gaze, his hands firmly engaged in holding the elf still. Legolas sighed inwardly, and decided to ruin a few perfectly made plans. After all, there was more than one way to seduce a man. He was sure someone had written a book on it for a start.

The Gondorian was taken by surprise as Legolas started to increase his own attentions towards Boromir, his weight shifted so that Boromir was increasingly supporting the elf's weight, allowing Legolas to take a little control over what he could reach. Legolas grinned to himself at Aragorn's mutter as the elf's wrists were almost pulled from his grasp at the sudden change, although the grip immediately tightened again.

Aragorn himself was keenly watching this display between the elf and his lover, every so often meeting the slightly anxious gaze of Boromir as the Man checked that the ranger was okay with the situation. Aragorn had feared this part would be his undoing, that he wouldn't able to stand watching Boromir with another, no matter how devoted he knew the Gondorian was. This whole situation was the ranger's suggestion, treated immediately with suspicion then curiousity by his lover. Boromir had muttered something about those %*&^* Men who couldn't make up their minds, but had happily allowed to be convinced, not least by the suggestion of some decent revenge.

Legolas suddenly felt Boromir freeze against him, and frowned. By the worried and slightly guilty expression on Boromir's face, Aragorn realised his own had managed to work itself into a frown, and tried to give him a warm smile. He moved his hand over to run his fingers through Boromir's hair, allowing Legolas to seize the moment and escape from the ranger's clutches. Aragorn rolled his eyes. There were many things that Legolas was, but submissive tended not to be one of them. The blindfold disappeared as soon as Legolas' hands once again became his property, and Boromir was treated to what was almost a whirlwind of Elven attentions.

Aragorn grinned at Boromir's slightly shocked expression; the Gondorian smiled back gratefully, and plunged back into the action, managing without too much fuss to reverse their positions to be able to be straddling over the elf, although he still hadn't managed to entirely mess up Legolas' hair. Aragorn felt his own throat go dry as he watched the pair tussel on the floor. He had expected this sort of thing to cause some sort of reaction, but this was ridiclous! He also noticed that Legolas was allowing Boromir to win each fight, something that he hadn't expected. He had expected some sounds of protest, even if simply for effect.

Aragorn started to pay some attentions to Boromir, seeming his back was directly in front of him and demanding to be touched in some way. Boromir jumped at the feel of the first hand, then pressed his back against his lover, moving his head back as Aragorn started to nibble at his neck. Legolas began to sulk.

" I am still here you know," he mentioned, although enjoying this new close up. Bushes had their uses but they were certainly not the best ringside seat for this sort of thing. Boromir gave him a look that Legolas found difficult to interpret, what appeared to be uncertainity. This was a turn up for the delicately written books! Boromir uncertain? Legolas found this wonderfully perplexing - with such a long lifespan it was often difficult to find things worth being perplexed about - and exchanged glances with Aragorn. Aragorn, he noticed, already knew and was giving comforting caresses to Boromir to get him to relax. Boromir shot Legolas another dubious look when he thought the elf wasn't looking, and managed to look incredibly young and innocent, which was quite impressive when you considered his current position. Innocent was not normally the word that was used in circumstances such as these.

Legolas exchanged another glance with Aragorn in amusement. Evidentally the majority of Boromir's bluster was simply attempting to cover his own fears over his self esteem; once you removed the waffle, Boromir found very little to hide behind. Mind you, considered Legolas, with that body it would be a crime to hide behind anything. Legolas retrived Boromir from Aragorn's clutches by putting an arm around the Gondorian's neck and pulling him closer. Boromir looked slightly panicked for the few brief moments that Legolas allowed him before getting back to the whirlwind.

He felt Boromir jump against him at a point when he hadn't been expecting it, and realised that Aragorn was also aiding his lover's .. er... relaxation in his own rather perverted manner. Not that he could see much from this angle, which was also fine by him. Boromir reclaimed some of his confidence, and started to pay attention to Legolas's nipples with his tongue and occasionally his teeth, although a slap on the thigh managed to inform him exactly when the teeth were overstaying their welcome. Not that Boromir seemed to care.

Legolas was unsure whether Boromir was accidentally or purposefully rubbing against him in such a manner that it was becoming difficult to think straight, but ultimately he felt it was probably about time to start doing something a bit more before he exploded - and he had the reputation of the elves to think about. He shuffled himself into a more suitable position, and, after it was clear that Boromir wasn't entirely sure what to do, helpfully moved Boromir into the correct position. Boromir hesitated. Aragorn, sensing his lover's worry, started to soothe him with his hands, leaning over to whisper sweet .. or whatever... nothings in the Gondorian's ear, warming his lover's back with his own.

The elf was slightly bemused by the fact that this was obviously more of a new experience to the warrior than he had imagined; Legolas hadn't managed to catch all of the gripping - in more ways than one - installments of Aragorn & Boromir In Glades, but he had assumed that Boromir would have had least managed to get the upper hand more than once. Evidentally there was more to their relationship than he wanted to think about at this stage. However, Boromir helpfully drew his mind onto more important matters when he finally took the plunge literally. Legolas stiffled a gasp, and arched his back. Boromir, who was afraid of hurting the elf, paused in concern.

" Don't stop!!" ordered the elf in desperation. Boromir still paused.

" What, no please?" he asked, grinning. Legolas gave him a filthly look, which turned into something else entirely when Boromir decided to move again. He was still unsure what gasps and moans meant happiness or pain, but every time he slowed Legolas started to speed up again. After a while he decided that the elf would be more than happy to wallop him if he did something unsuitable, not that this was going to be a problem; Legolas' fingers and nails were leaving red marks over the top of Boromir's buttocks and wherever else he could reach, and this only served to fuel Boromir's desperation. Aragorn decided to lean out of it before someone managed to catch him as well; there were many things that he was happy to experiment with, but pain wasn't really one of them.

He idly watched them, unable to stop stroking himself, as the Gondorian continually plunged into the willing body of the elf with what appeared to be a harmony of moans and gasps. It didn't take too long before they had both managed to climax in an impressively short space of time, Boromir almost flopping onto Legolas in exhaustion. Legolas managed to get a kiss in before Boromir rolled off, and found himself missing the edge of the cloak and landing on the cold and rather uncomfortable floor of the mine. His exhaustation was forgotten in the bid for warmer flooring.

Legolas, who had managed to retrieve his breathing control, pulled Boromir back to sit between his legs, and pulled him down for a long and lingering kiss. Boromir, who had been looked desperately back at Aragorn in case his attitude had changed mid-thrust, found himself back in the action again. He was happier when Aragorn started to kiss his way down the Gondorian's back. Boromir gasped as an already coated finger was inserted inside him, Aragorn continuing his kissing as his fingers probed.

Legolas was keen to attract Boromir's attention back onto himself, and started to kiss and bite the warrior's neck. Aragorn slid in another finger, and gave a nod to Legolas who was watching the ranger interestedly from over Boromir's shoulder. The warrior himself gave a whimper as Aragorn withdrew his fingers, Legolas holding him fast to avoid any mistrikes as it were and also to make sure that their target didn't move and obscure his view. Boromir sulked for the few moments it took for Aragorn to position himself, changing to a gasp as Aragorn finally slid into him. Legolas could feel Boromir trembling over him, something he had entirely missed previously due to other matters being on his mind.

Legolas gave another nip to Boromir's neck, just in case the warrior had forgotten him. Aragorn, who had been masterfully holding onto whatever control he had left, found that his willpower vanished as soon as Boromir gave one of his encouraging moans and started thrusting deep into him. Legolas, who had slid to lie underneath Boromir, praying that the Gondorian's arms would be able to hold him up to avoid a rather squished elf, started to play with whatever part of Boromir presented itself to be played with. He scratched alongside Boromir's thigh, which produced a rather pained yelp. Aragorn, who thought this was due to himself, almost skidded to a halt in panic.

" Just me," came Legolas' amused voice, as it was clear that Boromir was unable to speak. Aragorn shrugged to himself, and continued, wondering whether he would want to ask exactly what they were doing down there. Since Legolas had slid out of view, they could be engaged in anything, although hopefully not I-Spy.

Boromir took revenge on the thigh attacker by attacking the nipples again whenever he had enough puff to bite. Legolas gave a mock growl, and pulled the Gondorian back down for further kisses, thereby ensuring that the teeth stayed where they were supposed to. By the noises that were coming from the ranger, Aragorn was also not going to last much longer; Boromir was moaning more and more against Legolas' mouth, his eyes shut, feeling his lover thrust deeper and deeper into him, every so often hitting _that_ spot which often caused accidents between Boromir and Legolas with an unexpected leap from Boromir. Legolas's nipple was bitten a lot harder than Boromir had intended as it coinsided with a perfectly timed thrust from Aragorn. The elf was not amused, and obtained revenge for this by slapping Boromir hard on the right thigh. Boromir gave him a wounded innocent look for this.

" Don't care," replied Legolas. Any further conversation along these lines was obliterated by Aragorn's final thrust into Boromir, the ranger giving what was almost a growl as he came. Aragorn had also considered the aftereffects, and therefore had managed to draw his own cloak alongside Boromir's to give him somewhere to flop to without crushing the others. Boromir, who felt that he had spent enough time being someone else's mattress, plonked himself onto Aragorn, using the other's stomach as a pillow, his lower body still with Legolas.

There was a pause of almost intensive panting as everyone's minds managed to crawl back to reality. Boromir made a sleepy noise, and would have fallen asleep if the other two hadn't shoved him off due to the fact the stone was becoming remarkably cold and hard at this stage. Aragorn ruffled the sulking Gondorian's hair as a peace offering, and idly met Legolas' gaze towards him. Boromir, being tired and extremely satisfied, didn't notice and started to pull on some clothes before he found himself in a rather cold state of frame.

The ranger gave the elf an assessing look. Legolas, despite the past events, managed to look entirely unruffled, in spirit if not in hair.

" So, truce?" Aragorn asked finally as Boromir cursed around trying to find his belt. Legolas looked faintly surprised.

" Was there a war on?" he asked politely. " I felt I was merely assisting the Fellowship by showing you the errors of your ways,"

Aragorn groaned. " You're unbelievable," he remarked drily.

" Why thank you," Legolas's eyes twinkled. " You weren't so bad yourself,"

They paused to watch Boromir pull on a boot. Boromir glanced at them, aware he was under scrituny.

" What?" he said, eyes shifting between the pair suspiciously. Aragorn shrugged. Legolas examined one of his nails. Boromir gave an exhasperating sigh.

" I hope you're not considering ganging up on me," he said sulkily. " Otherwise I'll get the hobbits on you. Are you two ever going to get dressed, or are you going to fight orcs like that?"

Legolas gracefully rose to his feet and started to retrieve his clothings, which miraculously had managed to remain reasonably uncrinkled. Aragorn did the same, watching Boromir as he sneaked - or at least his version of sneak - towards the passageway and stare towards the remainder of the Fellowship. Gimli, night watch dwarf, was thankfully occupied on the other side of the camp. Legolas, who was a natural fast dresser, wandered over to retrieve the torch that had been hung from the wall and was looking slightly sorry for itself. They managed to walk back innocently enough, although the dubious look they received from the dwarf managed to get a remarkably red shade from Boromir and a slight coughing fit from Aragorn. Legolas, in his usual fashion, merely smiled politely at the dwarf, as though having been engaged in nothing more sinister than a jolly good game of Scrabble.

Which they had, in a manner of speaking.


End file.
